It’s my 7th cup of dark roasted, “bold” coffee, and the caffeine still isn’t keeping me alert (or awake) enough to do “everything” that’s on my to do list.
Because my TO DO list is for a crazy person!
As I sit at my desk bemoaning the 18 things still left to do, and it’s already 6pm, I finally “got it!”
…This is an insane list to follow.
Aha! No wonder I’m tired – exhausted in fact, and my IV drip of coffee isn’t working! My daily to do’s are ridiculous.
What am I missing?
Grace for myself is what I’m missing.
Grace to “be.” And not “do.” I know we hear (and read) about this a lot, but it’s not easy to live.
I seldom give myself time to rest. Instead, I “go, go, go…and go some more!” In fact, working 15-20 hour days are not unfamiliar scenarios to me. Sure, it might be understandable during a “push” and hard deadlines loom, but when this is the daily routine, I need to do something different.
Maybe it has something to do with my DNA, and/or habits etc, but whatever the reason, this “Aha!” is big enough for me to stop and reassess things.
I need to rest and to enjoy some “recreation.” Even as I ponder this, I get the sense that God wants to “re-create” me. 🙂 He wants to rejuvenate, regenerate (“re-genesis”), and renew me!
Aaaah…this feels good for my soul!
And I’ll probably be able to get more done in less time if I’m renewed as well…that’s the Pareto principle, after all (ie 80% of the work is done in 20% of the time). Instead of working 20 hour days, maybe I can work 10 or even 8 hour days, and spend the rest of the time doing other fun things – go for a nice relaxing walk with my dogs, take a long hot bath, slowly read a book (and not rush through it, just so I can the get the information I’m researching for), hang out with loved ones…and even take a nap! 🙂
Hmmm…that sounds really good!
Have you been working long days too without a break??
Have you had a few nudges and winks from loved ones telling you that you need to rest?
Is it time for you to “recreate,” also?
What are areas that you can give yourself grace in? What small step can you take that will allow more gentle and unforced rhythms of grace to flow in your life?
Let me know if this “confession” has helped you in any way! I’d love to hear from you!
In Joyful Loving Service,